What I want from 2023

“Life is a trip between the maternity ward and the crematorium. So, what’s the big worry? Nobody has ever made it out alive.”

– Like Hemlockers

This is a month late. But, what the heck? This is probably already a decade late — considering I am almost 30 years old and I behave, still, like a kid. I am tired of making promises that I can’t keep. All that is about to change, is going to change, and in some sense is already changing. All these years, I have dodged as many distractions as possible, and the ones I have not been able to dodge – I have easily fallen prey to. The people who know me can acknowledge this fact about me: I am either or. Meaning, I am either ALL IN or I am totally OUT. I have been a binary switch all this time. Hence, the distractions that I fall prey to, I fall all the way down and get addicted and become dependent. Whether it is Instagram, or Alcohol, or Cigarettes — whatever it is, I am either ALL IN or not at all interested. This is by no means an uncommon trait, and is in fact the reason for me to write this. I see this in my friends as well. I see it often everywhere else when I meet with the humans of our present day society. Where is moderation?

But, do we need moderation?

No.

I am a rebel, I have always been a rebel and I do not see a day when I want to be anything other than that. For me to say that moderation is the need is a joke. Moderation is not the need of the hour. But what is?

The need of the hour is commitment.

But why?

Our grandparents fought for survival. Our parents fought for stability. And we, the present generation, are fighting for identity. This is our Great War.

Humanity has gone through a wave of common emotions. Our ancestors let God govern their lives. They had stringent rules set down by their God, and they followed this religiously. This gave them meaning. This gave their life purpose. It worked well for them. And then came the dark age where our parents fought against existentialism, they fought against this question – If life is meaningless, why not commit suicide? They fought well, and lived a good life. This gave their life meaning. And a purpose. But now, the time is different. Now, in 2023, the common emotion is this – Life is a game, so play it well. This is OUR fight.

So, if life is a game, what is the big problem for us? It is identity. If life is a game, what character do you want your protagonist to be (because the options are infinite)? And herein lies the challenge, that amidst the billions of stimuli that is shot at us, we are supposed to maintain a single image, a single identity. This is not working out is it? Some people choose to identify as a different gender, some people choose to identify as animals, some people choose to identify as non-living things. Whatever the case, nobody seems to be happy. Ofcourse! Who can be happy when there is so many options to choose from? In today’s world, anything is granted, and everything is fair and woke. Woke culture is the end of us.

When there are so many distractions around us, expecting moderation is like expecting our ancestors to worship one god one day and another god another day. Our fight is different. The way forward is commitment. With commitment comes clarity. With commitment comes identity.

What we, the present generation, need is this – To choose a battle and stick to it. To commit to it, every resource possible and run with it. Remember, for us, life is a game. With this commitment to struggles will come eventually our meaning of life, and our purpose to live.

Think of yourself as a character in a game. This character, what does it do? It smokes, it writes, it doesn’t speak much, it likes adventures, etc etc. This is just an example. But what your character does, is what you should commit to – without hesitation. In this great effort to commit to your identity will come battles that (should you win) will forge your identity. This is what I want from myself in 2023 – Commitment.

Too much time has been lost in me doubting myself because of what someone else told about me. “Hey, your blogs make no sense to me” – so I stop writing. “Hey, you have a speech impairment.” – so I stop speaking. “Hey, you are so selfish.” – so I stop putting my needs first and become a servant to other’s wishes. But that needs to stop. If life is a game, who cares if my writing sucks? Who cares if I am like this, and not like that. I am going to commit to my identity and stick with it. I am going to derive from it the confidence I need in order to portray myself to the world. I am going to derive from it the strength I need to play this game. From this commitment, I am going to find my purpose. And my happiness.

Billions have come before us, and billions will come after us. I do not wish to be remembered. Wishing to be remembered ‘well’ is plain stupidity and outright selfishness. All I wish to do is enjoy the life given to me, to derive from it as much meaning as I possibly can and to leave, when my time comes, without hesitation.

Here is what I will do this year –

• Win the battle against addiction of smoking and overcome it completely (quit smoking).
• Read at least 12 books
• Write the first draft of a novel
• Do at least one 1-hour isolation tank session
• Hike on at least 25 weekends
• Blog the preparation progress for Mt Rainier every single day (habit of journaling)
• Ice baths 3 times a week for 15 mins each session
• Start exercising every single day in order to prepare for the summit attempt
• Summit Mt. Rainier (in late August)
• Display honesty and confidence in character (by not hiding things out of fear of being judged)
• Prove that I can exhibit absolute commitment to above goals

To these things I will commit to. I do not care for the outcome because this is all a game anyway, and is all for nothing. So why bother about the outcome? All I want is this – total commitment to my promises.

If today is a Sunday, would you rather sit at home and do nothing, or would you do something for fun (hike, football, sports, whatever)? In the same way, if this entire thing is all for nothing, would you spend your time sulking or would you rather go out and make a big splash and have fun?

What is your promise that you fail to keep? Do not bother about the outcome. Derive the happiness from the commitment to work towards these promises. Therein lies the meaning of life for us millennials. Therein lies our purpose. Why the big worry? This is all a big game and to hell with what others think my fellow Hemlockers!

Best of luck with this newest game level called ‘2023’.