Part III- Are you dying?
He wanted everything to be perfect on this trip. And so he had refrained from scolding the poor girl when she had fallen. And now, he could almost swear that there was something wrong with the train, it was swaying too much. Pretty soon, he realized that it was really nothing. It was probably due to his weakening senses. But with the conclusion of one thought, another worrisome one wafted steadily in. Why was he worrying so much? In fact, he had just worried that the train would derail, and for no justifiable reason. The train was traveling at the right speed and everything about the track and the driver was just fine. But he now thought, If he couldn’t even trust the driver of the train he was traveling in, who then, could he trust the life of his daughter with, once he was gone?
Would she grow up just as he had imagined and hoped? The world was not yet a safe place for women, especially the naughty kind like his daughter, that much he disconcertedly knew. There were the good ones, he also knew, like the Ticket Collector, who genuinely cared about others. But his mind couldn’t let go of the knowledge that there were also the bad ones, who only wished to satisfy their greed and lust at each available turn…
‘Saab. Saab. Tell me what’s wrong?’
‘Huh? Nothing. Nothing.’
‘Let us get you inside, the air is mighty cold tonight’
‘Alright’
He woke up at about the time dawn was cracking in the Ghats. He had slept so well that he had started salivating at one of the edges of the lips unto which side he had slept.
‘Captain! Captain! We are almost there! Wake up! Wake up!’
The little girl awoke fresh and beaming with spirit. Her eyes wide open to soak in as much information as possible. She peeked low again and looked outside. She could see streaks of blistering green. The wind which blew on her face was crisp and inviting.
‘Let us go near the door!’ She screamed.
‘Yes Captain!’
Holding his daughter in his arms, standing near the door, the father looked at the scenery unfurl in front of them. Mountains, undulating the landscape like a bosom does a saree. The birds flying abreast in specific directions in the blue. And the sky revealing the shimmering orange sun. Red, blue, green, the passing vista had every color, every life. As an added touch, a fine mist floated through the valley and cut through the train. And the mist smelt just like his wife. And everything seemed picturesque and loving. Suddenly the train passed over a bridge and the ground beneath them opened up to a deep gorge below. Daddy and daughter both looked with mouth gasped until the bridge passed by completely.
‘Woaaahhh!’ She screamed from her seat in his arms.
‘Captain! I say that was awesome!’
‘Yes soldier! Yes!’
Coughing and coughing, he took her back inside the bogey and they sat presently at the seat by the window.
‘Daddy are you dying?’
It took him so completely off that it made him skip a short out-breath. He din’t answer, instead he began to think, properly, for the first time. Was he really dying? Surely everybody is dying, he thought. But the question the girl really asked was whether he was going to die today or tomorrow or sometime soon. He hadn’t thought about it. Not since the first blood gargled cough had coughed up a few months ago. He had not the money to go get it checked. He feared it would lead to uncontrollable unforeseen expenditures which was otherwise happily being diverted to the girl’s welfare. Maybe he was dying, or maybe he wasn’t. All that mattered now was that he believed he wasn’t dying. That was all he would rather actually do.
‘No Captain. I say I am not!’
–End of Part 3–
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